How to Deal With a Narcissistic Partner? 

Being in a relationship with someone having a narcissistic personality disorder is not desirable. It can be frustrating and sometimes even hurtful to be around a partner who suffers from an inflated sense of self-importance. But narcissistic personality disorder is not a personal choice. Rather it is a mental condition that may distort the way someone perceives themselves as well as others. The first step in dealing with narcissistic behaviour in your partner is to understand the issue.

What Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a type of mental condition that leads people to develop an exaggerated opinion of themselves and an arrogant way of thinking. They intensely desire to be admired and remain at the centre of attention at all times. But there is a lack of consideration and empathy for others from their side. 

Also, if they don’t get the attention or admiration they crave, they may become disappointed and find their relationships unsatisfactory. Sometimes, they may even come across as conceited, selfish, and snobbish. But under the veil of their confidence, they carry fragile self-esteem that can’t stand criticism at all.

An important thing to remember about NPD is that the symptoms of this mental condition may vary from person to person. Some individuals may exhibit less intense symptoms and sustain relationships for a long time. Others may display symptoms that lead to manipulative behaviour. Yet others may exhibit completely self-absorbed and demanding behaviour that can create problems in every aspect of their lives, including work, family, and relationships.    

Here are some of the common narcissistic personality disorder symptoms:

• An exaggerated sense of superiority
• Lack of ability to consider others’ feelings
• Need for constant admiration and praise
• Manipulative behaviour focused on fulfilling own needs
• Aggressive behaviour
• Unable to accept even the slightest criticism
• Expect their expectations to be met unfailingly
• Insist to be given the best of everything

There’s no denying that it can be a challenge to carry on a relationship with a partner having a narcissistic personality disorder. However, you can adopt some practical ways to deal with such a partner and prevent yourself from getting hurt.

10 Ways to Deal With a Partner Having Narcissistic Personality Disorder

If you are facing relationship issues due to your partner having NPD, be aware that such people normally have a strong tendency to resist change. This means pointing out their wrong ways may not always bear positive results. Rather, such an action may cause them to behave vindictively.

Here’s how to deal with a partner having narcissistic personality disorder:

Educate Yourself About This Personality Disorder

To be able to handle a partner displaying narcissistic personality disorder traits, you need to acknowledge the disorder first and then analyze it. This will help you to accept who they are and what the exact situation is. You will be able to set realistic expectations and depersonalize their hurtful comments and behaviour.

Recognize the Triggers

People with narcissistic personality disorder are insecure individuals with low self-esteem. They use their arrogant behaviour as a shield to hide such facts. Try to recognize the things that tend to trigger their insecurities. It can help you to avoid or be mentally ready to face the situations that can cause your partner to act out in rage.

Don’t Focus On your Partner

When it comes to narcissistic personalities, they love to stay in the spotlight and hog all attention. It’s easy to fall into this pattern and become so attentive toward your partner that you begin ignoring your own needs. What you need to realize is that you are an individual with dreams and desires of your own. Take out some time to attend to your needs without being apologetic for the same.

Develop Your Self-Esteem

A common issue with people having a narcissistic personality disorder is that they look down upon others and insult them. This may cause you to suffer verbal and emotional abuse in your relationship. Rather than losing your confidence while being faced with such behaviour, try to develop your self-esteem instead. It’s crucial to keep in mind that their actions are a manifestation of a mental condition. So, you don’t need to bear the burden of their criticism.

Voice Your Opinion

Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder often don’t realize how their behaviour impacts those around them. But allowing them to get away with it may not be the best recourse to take. You need to make them aware of how their words and deeds impact you and your relationship. Communicate your concerns. But be ready to accept the fact that they may simply not care or understand.

Set Clear Boundaries

Setting boundaries is important in every relationship. It becomes all the more essential when you are involved with a person having NPD. For instance, you can state that there must be no name-calling in your relationship, no matter how angry or disappointed one is. Or, you can insist on spending time with your friends and family rather than catering to your partner at all times.

Build a Good Network

Dealing with a narcissistic partner can leave you emotionally drained. That’s why you need to build a good support system comprising friends and family who can be there for you. You may find your partner criticizing your friends and family. Don’t allow that to discourage you from keeping in touch with them and turning to them when you need any kind of support.

Insist On Prompt Action Rather Than Promises

It’s easy for a person with a narcissistic personality to make promises about improving their behaviour. They may even do so for a few days. But eventually, they may lose the motivation and go back to their old ways. If something of this sort happens, don’t relent and stand your ground. Say clearly that you will fulfil their expectations only when they keep their promises.

Seek Professional Help for Your Partner

People suffering from narcissistic personality disorder often don’t see any problem in themselves. So, they may never think about seeking professional help or therapy. But as a partner, you can suggest and encourage them to reach out for professional help. You may even go for couple therapy so that your partner doesn’t think you are trying to make them do something that they would rather not do.

Get Therapy for Yourself

Dealing with a person portraying narcissistic personality disorder can impact your mental and physical health. If you feel depressed, agitated, or anxious, don’t hesitate to seek appropriate medical help. If you are not comfortable disclosing your issues in person to a medical professional, you can even go for  online therapy. An online therapist will be able to understand your concerns and suggest ways to overcome the crisis. 

In Conclusion

Remember that narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder that won’t go away on its own. But the situation

can improve significantly with narcissistic personality disorder treatments. So, get appropriate treatment to make your relationship more enjoyable and rewarding.